How I got here
doesn't matter
no one cares
A guy who loves
the open spaces
....one stupid mistake........
now forty years
and I'm forty two
in essence
Life
In this concrete room
.no trees
..no grass
...no breeze
one step up
while no one watches
and memory
drifts to
.....forests
(fit "necktie" snuggly)
Life in here
unacceptable
Just as I step off
I pray
for strong knots............
Last Few Words: Just realized I'd not done free verse in a while
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Stan
That is never a stepping off place for any life.
Good write there young man,
It showed a picture,
I would not wish to see,
but for an innate curiosity..
I fear that some I know,
would use this way to go.
Tell them if you see them thinking so
They will have to return to finish their task
Next time could be worse than the last
So just help them to return to what they know.
On and On life has to go, Yours Ian.T
Hi Ian
You must be surfing the undiscovered list to come upon this one lol. I was on verge of deleting due to lack of response. I just saw a 40 something yr. old guy sentence on the news to 50 years in prison. Then thought about how I might react to something like that and carried it a step farther. Thanks for saving this scribble from the dust bin...............stan