Trail
Trail
Feb 22, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week February 19th to February 25th 2023

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THE ONWARD MARCH OF TIME

And I have seen a war
I've seen mothers stand by their gates watching
With tears in their eyes as they watch their sons
And daughters march off, never to return

I've heard the wails of the maimed and the dying
The crippled and the broken
I've seen dead looks in the eyes of men
Who have seen terrors beyond words
Things that broke their hearts and sunk their spirits

We have pretended to weep for the dead
But they are out of the war, out of misery
They do not shiver in the cold nor sweat in the heat
They aren't startled by the sudden noises, the movements in the dark
Being on constant edge because one knows not where danger lurks
Is a thing now foreign to them

No, we do not weep for the dead
Nor do we weep for the dying
For they are free, or they are soon to be
No, we do not weep for the dead
We weep for ourselves
For we are broken and beyond hope

The sun rises and the sun sets
And it all means nothing
For day and night we stand against the tide
We are tired and worn out
This also means nothing
A. SWANTALALA

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Botswana

Favorite Poets: Charles Bukowski

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

your poem has opened my eyes wide this morning. you write of grim truths. and you do it well. I shall be on the lookout for more of your poems!

*hugs, Cat
p.s.
No we do not weep for the dead
Nor do we weep for the dying
For they are free, or they are soon to be
No, we do not weep for the dead
We weep for ourselves
For we are broken and beyond hope

I liked these lines best.

Trail

Thank you for reading my poem and being kind enough to leave a response this positive. You have no idea how much it means to me to finally be able to share my poetry with people actually interested in reading it and get positive feedback from them. It warms my heart

Candlewitch

his name was Bennington, Benny for short. he passed away coming up on two years ago. I cannot bear to change the photograph.

*hugs, Cat

Trail

I'm sure Benny was a wonderful baby boy and his loss is felt. My mom has one too. His name is Percy and he wont let anyone but me pet him. I can't even imagine what losing him would feel like, so i think you're really strong. Thanks for sharing

Trail

Trail

2 years 2 months ago

In reply to by Ekaterina Alex…

Sometimes being a poet is a bit heavy on the heart because of how deeply we feel. But i guess we can pray and wish peace upon everyone especially during times like these. Thank you for reading and leaving a positive response to my poem. I hope to write many more of the same quality

Jackweb

And it presents us with an emotional engagement that will be timeless. Well penned!
.

Trail

I intended to write about the battle that is life itself. The fight against time that we all ultimately lose in the end. I'm glad some semblance of that shown through. Thank you for reading my poem and taking time to pen a positive response