flavored water
is the sexiest of drinks
like a person in just
their underwear
laced
with lemons
or silky
strawberries
a strap of
earl grey tea
only a hint
of clothing
like the human form
water
doesn't need much
to taste
full bodied
& sweet
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Great imagery
I did enjoy your imagery and connection of water with the sensuous human form and you presented some sweet associations there. The rhythm and meter threw me off-point a bit. It might be beneficial to tighten that up. I think it's an unusual and fun subject to work with.
Respectfully,