Geezer
Geezer
Sep 07, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week September 4th To September 10th 2022

(Read More...)

One More Night Alone...

I can't spend one more night alone
so, I'll spend it with the blues
Drinking from the bottle of sorrow
the ice of your heart makes it cool

Cigarette smoke burns my crying eyes
as I shuffle across the floor
I ain't had a dry eye baby
since you walked out that door

Answer the phone my sweet little girl
Ooooh baby, let me fill your ear
with the music of my soul, ahhh honey
say the words you want to hear

Gently, my guitar is sure weeping
coloring my world so blue
The sound of the saxophone smooth
and it's all talking to you

So come on home, my southern comfort
make me feel alright
Don't turn a blind ear honey
Don't let me be alone tonight

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This one is for a dear friend, who is sleeping in a lonely bed.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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More from this author

Comments

Geezer

to "Tell Me I'm Crazy", you said that you liked when I wrote free verse, and I thought about why I didn't write more of it. I was looking at Tell Me I'm Crazy and trying to figure out what is different about it, wondering how to write another. I went to my go-to and started listening to the same Blues album. I examined the lyrics and thought that there isn't any magic formula; you just write about what is in your heart. The "feel" of it is the important thing; the emotion poured into the instruments [the voice being one of them], is what counts. So, I decided to let my emotions be the guide. I think that the reason I write well in rhyme, is because I tend to think of the voice and the structure of the lines, in rhyme. The natural part of any musician is his/her association with their instruments. Mine happens to be voice and with that, rhyme. Once in a while, I happen to get a free verse just right, [it "feels" right]. Thank you so much, for your encouragement. ~ Geez.
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Michael Anthony

Good stuff Geez! Very bluesy and visual - my favorite lines:

The sound of the saxophone smooth
and it's all talking to you

So come on home, my southern comfort
make me feel alright

Best

Geezer

your read and comments. I love the sound of a "Blues" saxophone. It sounds so mournful, like a wailing wolf. Who can hear a wolf cry in the night, and not be moved? The saxophone has a tender, coaxing sound, that begs for the rest of the pack to join in. Or in the case of a lone wolf, an answer. The South is legendary for hospitality and the comforts of home, the whiskey smooth and warm, even with ice. So yes, comparing a woman to a bottle of whiskey... the double meaning here is what was intended. ~ Geez.
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S

I read this for the title then was sucked in by the honest display of loneliness. In my opinion one of your best

Geezer

Glad to hear that I hooked you with the title. I spent some time on that. As to sucking you in with the honest display of loneliness, I'm glad for that too! As in my last words, it is for a dear friend of mine, who is sleeping in a bed of loneliness. The circumstances are not quite the same, [he's not drinking] but she did leave him because of an argument. Like me, he is a big fan of blues guitar and saxophone. Thanks for stopping by ~ Geez.
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Triskelion

Rhyme just brings out the language needed to complete a wonderful verse like you have here. Need to agree with scribbler about the title drawing me in also. Overall, your language, title and theme are in complete harmony. I couldn't imagine them not being lyrics to a popular song.

Thomas

Geezer

Matter of fact, I am thinking of having someone look at it, to see what they think of making it into a song. He has already done one, but not a blues type thing. Hopefully, he has an idea of what it will take, or maybe do it himself! As always, thanks for the read and wonderful comments. ~ Geez.
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Jackweb

What a sweet cheery poem you have penned! The letters danced in the niche of your goodness.
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