Oh! Those First Glorious Days Of Conquest

I have come to colonize in the name of, oh! what's the difference
I'm here now, so it's
my way or the highway
oh! that's right, you have no highways, no roads at all
unless a goat path counts,
which it doesn't,
because I define all things from now on,
and a goat path is definitely not a highway.
sobeit.

now, as far as money goes
I want yours
I'll send a man around to collect it
not all, but as much as I can scare out of you
and for god's sake put on some proper clothes
the new mercantile center will show you
what to choose. shirts and shoes must be worn, and pants
or my goodwill shall spoil and turn in this god-awful heat

each settlement, village, town, and oasis
shall have at least one place to worship
whomever I decree to be the current sentimental favorite deity
don't think too hard about it
your sensibilites are not tuned for this
you don't even speak pigin English right

someday...someday... maybe you'll understand
I am the best thing to ever happen to you
in the mean time, no noisy rebellions
I am subject to headaches that make me mean
as a badger with a toothache, I hope that is a metaphor you can relate to.

I think my title shall be Bwana HIgh, yes! I like it
now go spread the good news,
tell them "Bwana High is here, he brings good stuff, so do what he says"

let Bwana High now go peruse all the nubile young ladies..so lovely I'm told.