lovedly
lovedly
Oct 10, 2017
This poem is part of the contest:

Little Red Wagon

(Read More...)

A night with you in a beloved red wagon (OCTOBER CONTEST)

No ego to devour
you are not as young
as I thought you would be
an angel composing silently
such exotic poetry

The men's hearts will bleed
they dare not compare
with the soul you set free
they will not bend a wee bit
in a beloved red wagon
their ego,
will them alone swallow
when they come to know
that compared to your
love, lust and passion
minus their love
they are seemingly
not so shallow

Some men are not that hollow
depth is their passion...
some times very deep too
as so think many of you
men do stand
but rarely still...

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

Eumolpus

I've seen the films The Red Violin, The Red Slippers and within the context of the films I understand what they represent, even in a broad poetic way. When I read your poem and omit the 3rd stanza the poem is very complete and meaningful. Passion, imagination,and deeply expressive ideas.

For me, I can't figure out what the red wagon represents, or how it connects the other stanzas in this work...that stanza seems like a separate poem to me about an event with a specific person. The other stanzas seem refer to "men" in general. just my take.

lovedly

there is so much depth here
as in my last Contest poetry
some part was not understood clearly
well let some more read and advise
then I may PM for advice
thanks Eumolpus
let Stan also say so

ON REREADING THE CONTEST LIMITATIONS
MUST INCLUDE THE WORDS
''a beloved red wagon''
and lines limited to just 20 plus minusxx
Well* will stand cancelled automatically
thanks Eumolpus
you are observant

lovedly

I appreciate your visionary guess
partly yes
I N S P I RATIONAL...
Stan must be having a fancy

for inside a red wagon performance

Even I don't know what is the significance

except just ramming it in the contest poem

Sparrow

Our young Bard sometimes our wait by the streams of poetries flow is rewarded by your pen.
This is excellent and with just the odd little edit you will walk the October contest, I never mind being second to quality,
Yours as always Ian..

Sparrow

So tired of being last in line is my poetry beyond comment, if so Neopoet is no longer any use to me.
Poems of mine seem to have very few comments or critique, so as I said I shall assume they are perfect.
I may leave this week or next just cant be assed any more, even Lovedly cant be bothered..
Yours Ian.T

Eumolpus

In search of that red wagon
and the burning fire
once quenched
seeks more
from the same fellow
who enjoyed with you
in the red wagon
just a wee while ago

Eumolpus

but that is actually is a pretty cool poem as it turns out...It has a complete vision of 2 kids in a wagon feeling "love" the first time, just a "wee" time ago ("and the balloon man whistles far and wee") The "wee" brings back the innocence of youth. and that now you seek more from that "fellow"

anyway, that's my take...

lovedly

but too small
to meet the length needed
DESIRED
by Stan
though based on
SINK THE TIT-anics guy's INK
he shared finally with her
in the actual red wagon

lovedly

in the still shadow
of the red wagon

awaiting someone
like stan and geezer
to comment
ad hold our hand
ere!