Up in the night!
relegate the daylight
to something hidden from sight
night terrors appear
then reappear
you can't put a fight
you've just got to get out of here,
but you can't remember how
in a flash it comes to you
just open up your eyes
and quick, turn on the light!
Apr 13, 2023
Up in the night!
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Up in the night!" is a short but effective piece that captures the feeling of fear and helplessness that can come with experiencing night terrors. The repetition of the phrase "night terrors appear then reappear" creates a sense of inevitability and reinforces the idea that the speaker is powerless to stop them. The final two lines provide a hopeful solution to the problem, suggesting that simply turning on the light can banish the darkness and the terror that comes with it.
One minor suggestion for improvement would be to change the third line to "to something hidden from sight", which would add a bit more nuance to the idea of "daylight" being something that is pushed away. Overall, however, the poem effectively conveys the theme of fear and the power of light to overcome it.
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