hopeless_writer
Feb 07, 2022
This poem is part of the challenge:

Neopoet Random Challenge #12

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Newport random challenge #12 [I survived]

Consider this a lamentation
A remembrance of a loss
that I grieve for -
One that’s silently felt

No amount of preparation; could
Make seeing the pictures easier,
The hollowness
The fear

Don’t give in - to the temptation
You have have done
the recovery

Find your motivation
I hear the birds again
That chirp had become
So distant.
Sunlight is not rare

I am my own inspiration
I have climbed a mountain,
Conquered a jungle
And I survived.

This is my new celebration.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

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Comments

Geezer

take much cogitation to see that you have written about a lost relationship and probably have come across some pictures that were of happier times during it. You have gotten over it and but still feel a residual ache. Talking to yourself is a common experience when faced with such times. I will assume that bird watching is a pleasant pastime for you, but you have only enjoyed it again just now. I like the reminder to yourself; that you should not give in to the temptation to try and resurrect the relationship and to keep moving on, with those lines "Don't give in to the temptation"... ~ Geezer.
.

Ray Whitaker

I like the jumble of emotion that I was left with. Reflective. Wistful.

I would move your first Stanza to be placed as the third stanza. Keeping the third, just making it the fourth. I wouldn't give away the lamentation label at the very beginning. make the reader work on that a bit, feel it more, it's such a juicy word.

Love the one-liner at the end!

Candlewitch

it is a very smooth poem, I like the way it flows. there is a bit of self-discovery throughout. it feels like you are concurring and resisting urges to reengage. great language usage!

*hugs, Cat