NEGATIVE ONE : second edit of last lines .[formerly INFINITY]

NEGATIVE ONE

A breath
the time of a sigh
the middle of
a blink
of an eye
a failure of synchronicity
in space and time…
suddenly
we become
negative one

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

Joe

A grand description of infinity, even Einstein had the sense to bend the travelors ways to return to the origin. Does this mean that Infinity is Now ?
I liked your words on this they brought thought with them,
Yours Ian.T

Thanks, Ian.

Almost Japanese in it's brevity and profundity

A major work.

I question the title and the last word, it leads to expectations of triviality, and is much over-used.

Perhaps...

oh, fuck, I can't think of anything better.

For the last word 'eternity'?

For the title, perhaps it doesn't need one, if you re-wrote it as a Tanka. But that is a big ask.

Thanks. I think I've got it.

Thanks. I think I've got it. Ruins the rhyme, but what the hell.

I like this a lot better

pity about the rhyme, but see my new signature

You must have read it before

You must have read it before I changed it again.:)