Dark smokes fill my lungs
A pure undiluted blackness of sort
It sinks my soul into streams of despair
And my eyes tears in blue
Leaving me a token offerry
To a world with beasty feats and icy claws
I have been sold out by life
The sunken teeth of reality tells me that
Truth is a specter and life is but a dream
Mystery and mysticism are let out in the fields
Left for infants to decipher even though they
Faint and tire from exhaustion and this spear.
Last Few Words: "Untill you allow life to pass through you, you will not understand life" This poem stimulates the day by day hardship that people face in the name of hustle and struggle.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Simon this is a true
Simon this is a true definition of life sometimes
Yes
Like I always say untill you allow life to pass through you, you will not understand life. For it's those who surfer can tell story.