Geezer
Geezer
Feb 08, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

the MY POEM contest

(Read More...)

The My Poem Contest... [Screaming inside]

The scream was there and ready
He felt it in his chest
He couldn't take it anymore
Though he'd done his best

There was all this pressure
That he tried to block
He couldn't catch a breath
Lungs and heart were locked

His fist was clenched and ready
Then he saw a face
A look of horror, of sorry
He came away, from that place

Don't go back to a distant time
Don't be that one again
Let it be, just let it rest
From a monster to a man

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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More from this author

Comments

Ray Whitaker

MY Poem contest is drawing you in! I've no changes to smuggles, other that adding one word to the last line: adding "Coming" to it.

Geezer

I thought about adding something to that last line, but felt that it would take away from the meter. ~ Geez.
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Candlewitch

a harrowing experience capturing the readers head and heart. while reading this, I only noticed I was holding my breath when I came to the climax! I wouldn't change a word. I had a similar experience but from a woman's point of view. you knew that eddy styx had to come from somewhere ;)

thanks for this, Cat & eddy

Geezer

I figured that. This man never hit a woman, but he did hurt someone once, long ago, that person was shocked because he never expected it. The trauma of it hurt both of them. Glad you liked it. ~ Geez.
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