I stare at my stuffed raggedy toy doll with their curled tied And twisted Strings of hair painted with the fading bashful color of blue. And always wearing that simple sowed on smile of enlightenment. and it’s pleasant pink painted Charming cheeks. Then it’s big round constantly lost and found button brown eyes always shining out the hyper feeling Of surprise. It always wears it’s Mixed matched patched up tattered and torn attire That is always drenched in marvelous merriment . Of it’s long overcoat covered with the ingenious dark serene color of green. which covers it’s white dress shirt That is striped in lines of intertwined chaotic kaleidoscopic colors of the rainbow. And Cowering Under the shirt it wears it’s long bagged wrinkled pants that is plastered with bright charismatic yellow polka dots that happily leap with glee. And then it is all topped of with its paper flower which is scented with the amorous scent of the Endearing dandelions and like a needle sews visions of lost loved ones and forgotten but still cherished friends that stay alive through The beloved memories engraved within this Darling divine little doll of mine.
Sep 26, 2020
My old doll
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Edward
It would help immensely if you could break this down into stanzas it would be much easier on the reader
Lynn
Ma'am please read his bio you will understnd
I corrected one
you may do this one
help the kid 15 years
may see his snap
edward,
edward,
I often enjoy the words and descriptions that you use.
Here, I particularily liked the wordings of
"big round constantly lost and found button brown eyes" and
"Mixed matched patched up tattered and torn attire"
The "constantly lost and found" eyes made the toy feel very real and familiar.
By the way, did you perhaps mean "sews" rather than "sows?"
enjoyed!
Thank you
And yes I did me sews
Hi Edward, I like this prose
Hi Edward, I like this prose poem very much. There are some mistakes but nothing serious. It's one raggedy doll, but in the first line you say "their". Easily corrected. All the way through you use the plural, so maybe you could say you have several dolls.
I think it would be better to break it up into stanzas, but that's your choice. I read in your bio that you're having quite serious health problems. I have a friend who has to have the fluid in her brain drained, the surgery consisted in inserting a tube that goes inside down to her bladder, I believe.
It's wonderful that you've become a poet and writer. Keep it up, you have enormous talent. All the best, Gracy
Thank you
Thank you I hope your doing fine in this time of mass hysteria
Thank you, Edward, same to
Thank you, Edward, same to you. Take care and all the best, Gracy