Kristen H.
Apr 23, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week April 23rd Through April 29th 2023

(Read More...)

OFF MY MEDS

I’m on my meds
and all is well.
I’m productive
and I won’t yell.
I feel fine,
I’m just cruising.
No more crying.
No more losing
my shit.

I’m off my meds
and it’s slow.
Time stands still.
I feel low.
Can’t do anything.
I just lie here
Unproductive,
I disappear
again.

I’M OFF MY MEDS!
I’M OFF MY MEDS!
I’M HANGING ON
BY THREADS!
I’M CONFUSED!
I’M IRATE!
I CAN’T HANDLE
ALL THIS WEIGHT
ANYMORE!

I’M DYING INSIDE!
I CAN’T TAKE ALL THIS PRESSURE!
I FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD!
I AM THE AGGRESSOR!
I’M CRYING, AND FOR WHAT?
I’M JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE
WHY CAN’T I CONTROL MYSELF?
GODDAMN, WHERE’S MY KNIFE?
DESPERATE!!

I’m on my meds.
I’m back to me.
I feel alive.
I am free.
I’m on my meds,
I’m feeling well.
Life is good,
No need to dwell,
on the past.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: TW, explicit content. This topic is not sensitive to me. Feel free to tear it apart.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Off My Meds" captures the stark contrast of a person's mental state when they are on and off their medication. The author effectively conveys the sense of stability, productivity, and emotional control that medication provides through the first stanza. The second stanza provides a vivid contrast, painting a picture of a person who is unable to function, feels low, and disappears into themselves.

The repetition of the phrase "I'm off my meds" in the third stanza adds to the sense of desperation and urgency in the speaker's tone. The use of exclamation marks and bold font emphasizes the intensity of their emotions. The lines "I am the aggressor!" and "goddamn, where's my knife?" highlight the potential danger and harm that can arise when a person is not properly medicated.

One suggested line edit would be to change "I feel misunderstood" to "I am misunderstood". This change emphasizes the speaker's conviction that they are not being properly understood or heard by others, which adds to their sense of frustration and isolation.

Overall, "Off My Meds" is a powerful and honest depiction of the impact that medication can have on a person's mental health. The poem emphasizes the importance of proper medication management and the dangers of going off medication without medical supervision.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

a fantastic poem! It really shows the highs and lows of taking medication for mental health and what it feels like when you are on/off of them. I think you really hit the nail on the head! Great job!