My Happiest Moment of my life
is when your skin was on mine.
When we can just stare at each other
for the longest time without saying a
word. How we can talk hours through
a gaze. How I can see your face,
arms, hands, legs, and all I have
to do is close my eyes and hope.
Hope that you wont do anything
stupid while I'm gone. Hope that
you wont change because you are
you. The happiest memory of my life
is you. The memory of your voice,
your skin tight jeans that make your
beauty pop like your eyes in the sun.
The boundaries of your mind are
limitless, so are the possibilities
of us yet like a shadow its completely
out of reach.
Jun 15, 2017
My Happiest Memory
About This Poem
Last Few Words: this is a poem about my love for a man in my life the I wanted to share with you
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi Scooby
Need to check tense in the first few lines.Other than that this makes it pretty clear how you feel. Only real suggestion is you might consider using stanza breaks. Can't really be a love poem without giving her a place to pause and wipe away tears lol.......stan