A turmoil
a resurrection
in between some yellows
few softer grassy greens
they wanted to me preen
sad they all vanished from the screen
where once I alone had solitary been
''Hope you hear my palpitating heart
and
remember we all are not blind
keep loving the real musical poet in me
and
keep in mind
where all I have been
in this world so sublime
just ask me''
Comments
hello 15
This poem I composed
riff raff kind... three years ago
lost the site ...now after a struggle got back modified my old poem/// about the turmoils of those gals f that time when I also was young l
ol thanks 15
my gals I seek
'twill be
ur 15 taking so much interest in teaching me
thanks
where in Europe do you belong
I keep passing by often
rgds
now now
who can be better than you for teaching me 15
Lovedly, masterful writing, I
Lovedly, masterful writing, I enjoy reading your poetry. I agree with Teddy about the title. All else is good, except some lines seem to force the end rhyme, such as the ones below:
few softer grassy greens
they wanted to me preen
Perhaps you could change preen for an inner rhyme, not at the end. After all, it's FV, you have no rules to follow. The musicality will not be lost. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Gracy
Thanks grace for reading my ...FV
If only you could advise
I may become a bit wise
no surprise
it's my surmise