January 2023 Challenge In My Element

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In My Element

The river flows with such an intensity
that the very earth is torn away with its current.

The hurricane blows,
Ripping apart everything in its path.

The ocean crashes,
Digging caves and capsizing entire ships.

Destructive by nature
Stronger than any living being,

The very same element that flows through me,
and sustains life itself,

is gentle enough to fall from the sky
and wash away my tears.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson

Comments

Intense

Vivid imagery as you turn the feelings inward...well done!

Thank you

Thank you very much! I appreciate your feedback!!

hey Kristen,

you have done a very good job with the challenge. but I found the last two lines weak. I have no suggestions.

*hugs, Cat

Thank you!

Thanks for your feedback! I'll spend some more time on those last lines! :)

Gold

This is art. It’s a short film. I wish I was a film maker. We should do something with this.

Tim

Thank you!

Thank you! What should we do with it? Any suggestions?

I really think it’s a 2 minute short

Ethereal piano music. A shot of a river rushing. A shot of a wind storm. A shot of cresting waves then breaking, a shot of starlings taking flight. A shot of light rain drops making ripples in a puddle. A mother Cradling an infant. A cemetery. The moon. End

We record spoken of your poem word to accompany the film.

I’m not a film maker tho
Tim

Woah!

That sounds awesome and heartbreaking all at the same time. Unfortunately, I'm no filmmaker either. Otherwise I would be making that myself.