ThisIsMe
Dec 30, 2019

To My Dead Love

Where is my body?

Where has it gone?

I can’t sing the tune

Cuz I don’t know the song

What is the meaning?

Please, tell it to me 

So I too can be strong

And learn things from thee

If you won’t let me in

How am I to grow?

There are many things yet

I still do not know

Words whispered to me

Through soft lips long ago

And now here I am 

Where else can I go?

 

Where can I go?

Who can I be?

When I do not know

And I cannot see

As blind as a bat 

To the things up above

Forgotten by hope

And abandoned by love

Please take my hand

And guide me through

I cannot live

My life without you.

 

My life without you

Is an endless game

Of me running from fears

And confronting the shame

I cannot win

I don’t know how to fight

When I don’t know what’s wrong

Or what should be right

Right here I will lay

Til you can find me 

Then you’ll take my hand

And we’ll both be free. 

 

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Charles Bukowski

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

simplistic poem that resonates with honesty about your feelings. The title interested me and brought me in. The logic seems to be good throughout and brings one to the end smoothly. The only thing is, it makes one think that the writer is contemplating suicide; something we don't want to happen. I get the feeling that even though it is what was intended, you aren't seriously thinking of it, just feeling like that. Good work! ~ Geezer.
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T

Thanks for the feedback. I get what you're saying about it being kind of dark, especially at the end. However, I don't think that's a bad thing. Read anything by Dickinson or Bukowski and you'll be left feeling the same way. I guess it's a taste thing, but these types of poems are personally my favorite.

Geezer

Then you will appreciate my upcoming chat room. My co-host Carrie and I will be hosting a chat called Chat on the Darkside!
It is something I used to do a few years ago before we had a big crash and we lost our chat. Depending on how well attended, the chat will be at least once a month and possibly bi-weekly. I encourage you and others to bring your dark thoughts and ideas to be discussed. It is generally a free form program and we want to see all the dark stuff you've got! No set topics unless discussed before hand and brought to chat for a specific purpose. I'm sure that the chat will be announced soon and I would love to see you there!
~ Geezer.
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