Candlewitch
Candlewitch
May 10, 2022

Most want... (To Die In Their Sleep! by:eddy styx)

Most People Want:

(To Die In Their Sleep) by: eddy styx

I see you
deeply, kissing him good-night
I sense you
behind the closed door
I know your
bedroom walls & drapes
I feel
your satin bed sheets
I smell
the decadent perfume
I taste
the sickly dregs of death...

I am hidden there,
as, you open the windows
turn out the lights,
turn off the bell on your phone,
slipping fluidly into bed.
sleep comes gently, as you close your eyes,
falling utterly under it's spell..

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

at the alter-ego who resides in a relationship. I thought it very engaging and clear about his feelings for you. Most writers that have an alter-ego, do not ever address the relationship with their host. I find it most interesting, and did not realize how I have dealt with this matter of my own, until I was framing my response to you. I think that it also goes to show the difference in the borning of an alter-ego. Hmmmm... I do believe that there may be something to this conjecture. Thank you for this insight.
~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

I am not most writers, or even most people. Steven says that I have a lot of masculine philosophies and my approach to life is more masculine than feminine. not many little girls are taught how to fight when they are young, lol.

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

you do seem to be a "Tom Boy". My sisters all took lessons from me or my brothers. We never had to defend them; by the time we learned about anything happening, it was all done and over with! LoL Hugs from all, ~ Geez.
.

lovedly

exquisite words
of SILENT death

we love to wade away in our sleep
no fear of the twin mind
are you awake
eddy

Jackweb

The way you created your poems sometimes stirs up goose bumps on my skin. Your structural, grammatical, rhythmic, metrical, verbal and visual elements, all are in place.

Apt and beautifully crafted piece!