In my sixth decade now, with a front row seat
to the beautiful and fearsome march of days
on their way to fewer of them
What else, other than time,
do we have so many grievances with
but are still so grateful for?
I see life’s passing markers damaging my body,
leaving consolation gifts of memories, good ones,
and lessons-learned ones where wisdom should come from
Time scoffs at my attempts to negotiate terms or conditions
Its empirical handiwork tells me how it’s going to be;
looking back at me in the mirror or feeling it in my morning bones
I expect time will keep subtracting, minus this, and minus that,
but hopefully leaving one more day
If, gratefully, the difference is greater than zero
I’ll gladly accept the result with anticipation
of seeing the sun set one more time in the west,
over the green hills crowned in fog
and better understand the treasure
Comments
Nothing to fuss with, really
well-written. The only thing in the writing which confused me was the march of days marching to fewer. The days are marching to those already past, yes? If so, aren't they marching to more of them, i.e., more days past?
I'm ambivalent about the title. I would like the title to add something new to the poem but the phrase is also in the poem body.
Maybe either the title or the line could change.
One too many grateful's for me. I feel like the one in stanza two is much more effective than the last stanza.
I am sitting close to you in the parade and this poem speaks to me. Nice work.
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Arrow!
This poem is about the passing of time. Real time for all us moves forward (but it can move any direction in our thoughts, of course). Arguably, after the passing of each day we all have fewer of them left. At least that's what I was trying to convey.
I wasn't crazy about my title, but I liked the term so I went with it. Considering some alternatives.
I'll consider the issue with too many "gratefuls" a personal preference nit, so will probably leave it alone... maybe... LOL!
Thanks again - cheers!
Hi Mike
Yes with the passing of we become happy wit just one more day. The ninth line though.....in my opinion it should be divided into two lines. I expect you know where. A good read