"Can people dance on the moon, Mother?"
"Maybe, but they probably want to avoid the craters there."
"But would the holes on the moon be lonesome?"
"They might be Honey; they’ve been there a very long time."
“Mother, will you be here as long as the holes on the moon?”
“I don’t think so. I suppose you’re right about the holes there.”
Last Few Words: Fooling around with some whimsy, inspired by a photo I found on the interwebs. Not sure it worked, but...
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Moon Dancer
Hello, Michael,
I'm not certain of the intent, but this reminded me of the way I felt when, as a fairly young child, I realized my parents would some day no longer be there. I cried myself to sleep many nights, for a while. The curiosity of children sometimes leads to some very deep questions. Very cool poem. Beautiful title which adds to the innocence of the moment.
Thank you,
L
Reading your comments L, I
Reading your comments L, I was very happy that the context of my poem was discernable. Your comments are where my head was at when I wrote this - thank you!
Best
Michael Anthony
My first reaction was one of interest. It seemed that the child's understanding was expanded in a good way. After reading Lavender's reply I changed my mind. Nonetheless I think it's a brilliant idea and poem.
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece Leslie!
Best