Monologue

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses personification to convey a sense of emotional isolation and unrequited feelings. The inanimate objects in the room are given human-like qualities, which serve to highlight the speaker's perception of the other person's indifference.

The repetition of "the subject of us" at the beginning and end of the poem creates a circular structure that emphasizes the speaker's ongoing struggle with these feelings. This repetition could be further enhanced by introducing more variations in the middle stanzas to avoid monotony and to keep the reader engaged.

The poem could benefit from more precise and varied language to convey the speaker's emotions. For example, instead of "made me feel so small," the speaker could use more evocative language to describe this feeling. Similarly, "the window shared my pain" could be revised to show, rather than tell, the reader about the speaker's pain.

The rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Consider revising to create a more consistent rhythm or meter. This could be achieved by adjusting the length of the lines or by introducing a more regular rhyme scheme.

The poem's ending is effective in conveying the speaker's sense of despair and longing for a response that never comes. However, the phrase "Never to be answered by you" could be rephrased for greater impact. For example, the speaker could describe the silence following their heartbeat, implying the absence of a response.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

that the AI takes into consideration, the rhyming that goes on in this piece.
Sometimes, the fact that rhyme is an important part of the whole thing, is missed.
There are only so many ways that you can rhyme certain things and stay relevant to the whole of the message.
I think that you have managed it very well. I like the decision to go with straight forward language in the last lines, rather than rhyming. It helps make the final thoughts inevitable. Nice job, ~ Geezer.
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sir Gee.
This is bittersweet and yet I enjoyed reading once and again.
I just found the repetition of "and" unnecessary especially in the second stanza. Just me, you can take it as a suggestion or leave it, it's your poem and your call.
Thank you for sharing.

is important! It indicates the utter tediousness of the whole thing. The thought that you don't matter at all; this is just another "Whatever". At least, that is my impression of it. Only the authoress knows. Be interesting to see what she says. ~ Geez.
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(may I address you by your name?)

I much enjoyed your rhyming lines. But, these are my favorite lines:

I stood there for a while
Understanding, but
Confused
Beating myself up about
The subject of us
Heart beats echoed
In the space inside me
Never to be answered
by you.

these lines are deeply profound because I lived with them and the longing for more!

*hugs, Cat