In Moment's Spent Desire

I lie upon your cooling breasts,
desire's rhythm spent, yet still held
within your warmth, your heated breath;
your fingers smooth along my skin,
then you softly say: "I've never
felt this, before today."

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Thanks Shirl,

Glad you liked it.

LMAO

Yes, ma'am!
heehee that was funny.
This is my second passion poem in compliment form, as per Jonathon's devisement of the form, and I really do like the structure - short, simple, and pretty powerful.
Actually, I do have a freeform piece I'm working on right now that will almost certainly qualify for REAL criticism, heehee, but it's still not finished: a day or two more, I think, before I post it.
Thanks Chrys - for making me laugh, and for your kind opinion of my poems.

Jim

it is never easy to capture a moment quite like this one and give it justice with words...that said, you did it my friend.

Sometimes less is more.

Hooded,

Thank you so much.
I have to say, it is usually quite hard for me, writing about such things, mainly because I take so long to say them, lol, then have to edit, cut, crunch and smash my way down to something that is readable.
But, with this compliment form of Jonathon's, I find it easier to encapulate the meaning right from the start. A little counter-intuitive, I know, but it works well for me.
It occurs to me, as well, that this form might be useful in the writing of lyrics, since the form forces one into a certain cadence, one that I think would lend itself well to songs.
But then, I'm just a poet, not a songwriter, lol.

Thanks again,

Compliment Form

Jim,

I haven't used the form mainly because I am not sure that it will be of any benefit to me, especially since I only ever use one word titles...I just always have and don't feel the need to change.

I may give it a go but to be honest it doesn't excite me at all. I hope it works for others who need a new form and I will be checking out people's attempts at it. Hopefully it will become a competition. I don't do competitions either!! Lol!...stuck in my old ways!!

Thanks anyway,

Hooded,

I was thinking more of the meter in the body of the form, rather than the title. Since it's structure is so rigid, I thought that it might lend itself to the accompaniment of musical beat and rhythym, that's all.