They talk so quick,
They speak so loud
You hear them squawk above the crowd,
Fingers fly.
Heads bowed low
See nothing but the screen below.
Mar 30, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week March 26th to April 1 2023 Winner
Modern Times
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This came to me as I stood, outside the chemists, waiting for my wife. It could probably take many more observations on modern life but I settled for this.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Modern Times" is a short but effective commentary on the way technology has affected our communication habits. The opening lines immediately set the tone for the rest of the poem, with the speaker noting how people talk quickly and loudly, almost like birds squawking. This comparison is an interesting one, as it highlights the lack of nuance and depth that can come with rapid-fire communication.
The second stanza is even more effective, as it describes how people are so absorbed in their screens that they are completely oblivious to the world around them. The use of the phrase "heads bowed low" is particularly powerful, as it suggests a kind of submission to technology and a lack of engagement with the real world.
One potential area for improvement in the poem is the use of the word "nothing" in the final line. While it's true that people who are engrossed in their screens may not be seeing much of the world around them, the word "nothing" feels a bit too extreme. Perhaps a better word choice would be "little" or "almost nothing", which would still convey the same general idea without being quite as absolute.
Overall, "Modern Times" is a well-crafted poem that effectively captures the way technology has changed the way we communicate and interact with the world around us. With just a few short lines, the poem manages to convey a sense of detachment and disconnection that is all too familiar in our modern age.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Modern Times
Hello, Alex,
Spot on! You've described them / us precisely. Great title.
L
Modern Times
Hi L. Thank you, Doesn't describe me, I'm all thumbs, and have enough trouble just sitting and looking. Alex
I suspect you, as I, are of
I suspect you, as I, are of an age where "modern times" and technology has left us behind mate.
Your piece cut to the quick of our bewilderment in todays youth.
I like it.
Obi.
Modern times.
Hi Obi. You are not wrong there. Alex
Congrats...
on your win of Neopoem of the Week! Nicely done. ~ Geezer.
.
Modern Times
Thanks Geezer, as I said when I saw, In local terms, 'well bugger my old boots' Alex
Perfectly
said.
Congratulations on winning the contest. Well done!
Modern Times
Thank you Rula. Alex
Modern Times
Congratulations!
L
Modern Times
thank you L. Alex