Benjamin1987
Benjamin1987
Apr 02, 2012

Military Madness

The bark of an AK-47
crack of a sniper bullet
nowhere to be seen
cries for a medic
being heard in every direction

On the six o’clock news
nothing but sadness
“Unit X was ambushed today”
“X amount of soldiers
Have died so far”

On the home front
cries of protest erupt
people saying this is
just another Vietnam
while yellow ribbon
flies in the air

The bureaucratic fat cats
sitting behind their desks
lining their pockets
with the money of
the dead and the innocent

Why are we
still at war
and the dove
of peace not flown
with its olive branch

Our boys need
to come home
living their lives
without fear of
being blown up

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

Favorite Poets: The Beat Generation

More from this author

Comments

judyanne

'On the six o’clock news
nothing but bad news'
using the same word twice – especially so close together causes the reader to pause
can I suggest
‘On the six o’clock news
nothing but sadness’ (or some other thought you prefer to convey)

I have to say I disagree with jess
this is a message that needs to be repeated over and over
no matter how cliché it may become

well said
love judy