We have become a people who turn their
Backs on their own in need
Beggars' they are, pay them no heed
Even the animals have more compassion
Why should we bother if no one's there
to hear their cries of hunger and fear?
If you listen closely, you will hear
the sounds of a dying society
We are reaching the point of calamity
Remember well that mercy shown shall be mercy owned
Take care, take care
Comments
of course
I ditto your words Linda..A heartfelt writing .
Well written
it could use a little work on scansion, but I would rather talk about content here.
Even the animals have more compassion. Just not true, only the other primates comes close to the emotion.
The "we" you refer to is, I presume, American society, which is dangerously primitive and un-caring. Your own state, Texas, executes more of its own population than most nations on Earth.
There are countries with socialist based principles that do care for the needy, under-priveleged and disaster-struck as a matter of course. We should learn from them. It doesn't mean we have to become totalitarian commies!
You are very perceptive in hearing "The sounds of a dying society", but that society is corporate capitalism. It is surely not a fault in human nature, our communal efforts have lead us to being the primary species.
I just posted a poem about it "No corruption in our bones"
Jess
Yes it is America I refer to, it we do not change we will not be a major power much longer. I could blame it on Washington, but who is to say the next canidate will do any better.
Texas penal society is rough. Sentences given are harsh. Have worked in womens prision with group called Bridges to LIfe, they try to teach them coping skills, to own their own mistakes, hopefully learn from them.
the animals I refer to are elephants, dolphins, and dogs. All are usually protective towards their young, and live in their own little communities.are capable of affection and appreciation.
Thank you for your comments. I will read your poem in a minute
Sincerely, Linda
Linda
i quite like this linda
but have a small objection to the end - sounding a little pompous/ 'teachy'
imho i think you would have more impact if you finished it at 'take care, take care'
and then - speaking of 'care' perhaps you could remove excess use by changing
'Why should we care if no one's there'
to
'why should we bother if no-one's there' --- or some such thing
- also you do need a question mark after the question
and it is offputting (lol to me i stress) to have every line start with a capital letter in a write that really speaks in sentences ... you don't necessarily need periods or commas( except maybe commas in the middle of lines when needed)
but i do think that you should only have a capital when you start a new sentence...
and i do agree with the write
- it is not only povery ignored
- goodness me i have heard so many stories of people dying on the street while passers by do just that - pass by
- i hear of people being beaten or raped in full view of others who do nothing to help
soddom and gomorrah eat yor hearts out
love judy
xxx
Judyanne
Thank you for your help, I have changed as you suggested. I think I understood what you were saying about the change on last line.
sincerely, Linda