I listen to Kristoferson
or read a bit of Frost
(I'll never equal either one)
In their words I become lost.
Beside them I take a stroll
one on a gritty grey sidewalk
with the other through an old oak knoll
while listening to the world talk.
I hear the traffic rushing by
horns and voices blaring loud.
I hear geese as they fill the sky
far away from any crowd.
Their words so different yet the same.
They mirror my own duality.
I'll never match their talent or fame
but scribbling is alright with me.
Comments
love this. love the rhythm
love this. love the rhythm but i have one question. i don't know where you are. i am in usa. i would put the accent on become on second syllable. to make your rhythm here perfect, you are putting it on the first syllable. also don't know the word "aroid's"? love the poem
Hi Cathy
I'm from South Carolina where the REAL English is spoken lol. "Aroid's" I have no idea where that came from....maybe from posting late at night? but the eagle eye let me know it needed deleting so thank you for that as well as your time to read
Stan
A great write as always and down to Earth
I will read again later to see if critique is needed but most times not..
Yours Ian ..
Hi Ian
The old muse isn't dropping by too much lately so I try to do well when she Does come by lol
Stan
I think we are both tired of banging our heads,
isn't it lovely to stop for a while lol,
Yours Ian ..
Enjoyed the easy read/flow
Enjoyed the easy read/flow here Stan. It's so easy to go down the rabbit hole with our favourite writers sometimes Although you may never be as well known as your favorites.. I hope they (amongst others on here) continue to inspire you to write and read.
BJ
Hi bjucks
Yep one can easily be mentored by simply reading a good poet's works. I appreciate your time to drop by for a visit
BJ
I see by your pic that you have been banging your head to no avail.
I will drift away and read the odd poem lol
Yours Ian ..
Structured Western?
Could you explain the structured Western? Am picturing a cowboy on a horse
Interesting piece of mixed metre to me you have a couple of rhythm glitches in line 4 imo one syllable less or more .. I stumble on become ?am.
I stumble also on the transition between 5 and ^6.
I dont think duality and me are a perfect rhyme.
My favourite stanza 3
hi Sam
LOL. That is among the few choices offered. I think it means with rhyme and rhythm. Try saying duality and me both out loud. They both end with an E sound but I agree that since there is a great difference in number of syllables that the rhyme is not perfect. I'll check out the other things when I do the inevitable edit. And I'm editing stuff, even stuff from years ago, all the time