loved
loved
Jan 10, 2014

Many,many dawns since...Loved\s good ones missed

It's been years since we met,
at the cross roads of time
when I was in haste to find
a gold mine
as one as I found in you
to make mine

Times rolled by
the dawns added on,
now I have become bald,
you still smile at me,
could I have a young one ever been,

but then we both look in the mirror
who is now handsome
who prettier
then I smile at myself
how could you still hold your breath
hope not alas in vain
my youth has been drowned down in drain
but my loved one only you do remain.
but I wonder why
you haven't sought another replacement,
I thought twas the twilight of mercy
perhaps you would making a plea
see me

so you held on all along
we do after all to each other belong,
come along
dinner is served
will you continue
to butter the toast
as usual my dear

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

This is the seventh age of Man.
Where sense of humour fails as does everything else.
The body fails the mind, and in doing so tries to destroy everything within reach, or change it into something that means nothing to us at all,

Yours Ian.T :- No longer attending the Ball..

loved

as Shakespeare said
sans teeth
sans smile ...etc

I say mini HE,
thanks to dentures
Stents and ECG etc
death will never come to me

unless God agrees to allot
a heavenly bed to me
warm and cozy
as it is too cold out here
Global ?what notwithstanding

over the week end
be Happy
He will have to spare me
see u on Monday ,
do u agree
You will have to pay God's fee
for sparing another
weekend for me

Barbara Writes

I like your poem. I got a little tongue twisted in a couple of lines. The image still flowed good. The rhythm felt great as I read from beginning to end. I'm feeling better these days therefore, I can understand better the themes. I wasn't around much because I lived in a mental fog for the last few years that made me feel ineffective and inferior to understand poetry.. I'm glad to be back among my poetry family reading and critiquing good poetry again.

R

raj

11 years 3 months ago

This write is once again a testimony of the metamorphosis of the writer in you, due to your ceaseless efforts at improvisation and taking cues from others on Neopoet and some other poetry sites as I remember you making a passing reference.

This is in a way similar to the one re-posted by Stan ""Ageless Love" though expressed differently in your own words and expressions ...the closing is lovely too because of its life like scenario...it was indeed a pleasure...

loved

young one
that you so think so

Inspiration is the spring board of any poetry
I learned it after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic gods reside
like the ones like you
happy for you

and
of course
my dear I thank you

Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time ,
eternity and poetry

My mind now saturates
poetically

S

I might steal those last 5 lines one day lol. But seriously they are truly wonderful in displaying the little favors older couple do for one another as well as the enduring love which makes the favors almost automatic...............stan

alidzain

love your poem.
this is about a timeless love.
.it will be a good referrence for me .
thank you

Alid