Blue-eyed Bolla
Blue-eyed Bolla
May 06, 2023

Maid Marigold

I made a garland for my love
from flowers that she could wear.
A rosy ray of sunshine gold
to crown her lovely hair.

The band was made from marigolds;
the odour was so sweet.
With fragrance of a lemon tree,
was good enough to eat.

An ankle bracelet next I wove
to grace her tiny feet.
It sparkled on a moonlit night
and suited her a treat.

An icon screen I built for her,
to kneel before and pray,
adorned with sacred marigolds,
with saints all in array.

Then crafted I, with yellow blooms,
a golden flower bed,
where she could lie and count the stars
and rest her precious head.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Buxton, Derbyshire., GBR

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Maid Marigold" is a charming and romantic tribute to the speaker's love. The imagery of flowers and nature is used to great effect, creating a beautiful and idyllic setting for the love story. The use of marigolds as a symbol of love and devotion is particularly effective, as they are not typically thought of as romantic flowers.

The structure of the poem is simple and straightforward, with each stanza describing a different gift the speaker has made for their love. This creates a sense of progression and builds towards the final image of the golden flower bed. The language used is simple and accessible, which adds to the overall charm of the poem.

One suggested line edit would be to change "I crafted then, with yellow blooms" to "Then crafted I, with yellow blooms". This would improve the flow of the line and make it more consistent with the rest of the poem.

Overall, "Maid Marigold" is a lovely and romantic poem that would be perfect for a wedding or anniversary. Its simplicity and sincerity make it a timeless piece of poetry.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

is very good and makes a musical sounding name.
the tempo is medium fast, making it smooth and rhythmic.
The use of yelow and gold colors lend a sunny disposition to the whole thing.
It feels smooth and makes for a romantic piece to present on a special occasion.
Very well done. ~ Geez.
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