jzarmel
Jun 16, 2016

Luxurious Peace

Only peace sign is on a foreign car
With it, the door's ajar
Asking you to enter,
Come experience the splendor

Of your blood, sweat, and tears.
Never-minding who was stepped on
To get the higher praise after years
Slithering. The regret's gone

As soon as you hear the VROOM
Victory is consumed.
Disregarding the speed limit.
Hardened; Forgetting feces is scented.

That's why windows are tinted;
To be hidden from guilt ridden;
Ill; Sickened. Real living costs
A price. The meaning of life's faults

Bring you to either accept being,
Or live a life of neglect seeing
Only peace sign is on a foreign car
With it, the door's ajar.

Is this solitude?

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

8 years 10 months ago

is another's reality. Sometimes, the windows are tinted just to keep out the sun. No ulterior motives like masking the horror of everyday life. ~ I like the way you write. Lots of innuendo and leaving it up to the reader to figure out what you might be saying. Your work will smooth out more as you mature as a poet and I think you have great potential. ~ Geezer.

J

i am really grateful for your comment. thank you. it is also nice to hear from you again. i'll keep it going as well as i know how, taking the advise of others along the way.