Love's Light Shining

I’ve found dark places in my mind
but I’ve seen the light there too.
You’ve been the light of my life
since the day I first met you.

You shine your light in my heart
so I’m never lost in the dark.
And I can just look at you
to see love's light shining through.

If you’ve dark places in your mind
I will do the same thing too.
And shine a light from my heart
of all of my love for you.

I’ll shine my light in your heart
so you’re never lost in the dark.
And I will just look at you
so you see love's light shining too.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Basically, I just want to know if the poem works and makes sense.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Favorite Poets: Rather than poets I tend to be influenced by songwriters and have a love of lyrics.

Comments

Hello,

I liked these lines best:

If you’ve dark places
in your mind.
I will do the
same thing too.
And shine a light
from my heart.
Of all of my
love for you.

always, Cat

thanks for the response Cat.

thanks for the response Cat.
take care,
Tim

i liked the simplicity of the words and the simplistic message in this write that true love is about holding onto each other through the thick and thin,...it creates an image of two hearts beating as one ...

Thanks for a lovely comment

Thanks for a lovely comment Raj.
All the best,
Tim

I can...

only echo the raj's comments and say that I really like the message. There are a couple of things that you might look at. A few places that the rhyme falters, [but easily forgotten] and an apostrophe for the possessive [loves] in the line: "So you see [love's] light shining too." ~ Geezer

Thanks, I'm glad about what

Thanks, I'm glad about what you say re apostrophe, because I've been debating that and was pondering changing. now I will!
Also I'm changing the format as it doesn't seem right the way it is.
Tim

Tim

I always feel the love you bring to your page.
Eddie

Thanks Eddie. Tim

Thanks Eddie.
Tim

Thanks Rosi.

Thanks Rosi, I'm really touched by your kind words. It's very encouraging when like minded people like yourself give such feedback to encourage me in the way I write. I can only write from within myself in my own way and it's wonderful to receive this comment. Less than 2 years ago I wasn't even confident enough to show my poetry to friends and family. Then with my wife's encouragement, I started to look for opportunities for showing my poetry on the Internet and it's the best thing I ever did.
Bless you for what you have said,
take care,
Tim x