Seren
Seren
Nov 13, 2012

Logos

I taste the air
around my lungs,
reaching for divinity

a lone sparrow
that carries
a sacred missive,
in a perfect language

words that spoken together
stir hearts as one,
bringing all
to a place of knowledge
immovable
but traveling fathoms,
only ever touching
on the profound
never

(too much too soon)

Augurs will pronounce
peace to multitudes,
as in the opened wings
of a dove,
the first scribe of truth
lets one feather fall

the first contact
in the language
of the birds
was pure silence
that marked the depths

trilling a passage
to peace

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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Comments

Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 5 months ago

I liked the sonics of this, maybe some lines could be combined so shorter lines have more effect. "Travelling fathoms' sounds great and connects to 'depths' but seemed out of place as the dominant images are of birds.
Some lovely interweaving of images and ideas. Particularly liked the ending.

regards
ross

Seren

Seren

12 years 5 months ago

In reply to by Ross Hamilton Hill

I am going to be away till monday so I will take a copy with me and see what I can make of it, yout right about the fathoms line, i really would like to keep that line somehow .... thanks for the comment and crit its much appreciated

love JC xxx