I once knew a man,
from distant lands,
he crossed ocean of fear,
in wonder of there and here,
he was impatient, he didn't like when and then,
but he preferred when,
when it came to how,
he worked hard, he wanted it now,
well father Time showed him who's boss,
he gave him T's to cross,
and i's to dot,
who would have thought,
how to stop,
he did not stop,
everywhere there were spots of dots,
as the T's became cross,
you see the T's wanted to be i's,
but didn't realize,
it wouldn't be wise,
to have dots on eyes.
Feb 23, 2018
Logical What's
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Results of cabin fever in the middle of a long harsh winter.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
In my opinion the poem is
In my opinion the poem is good ideologically but has a lot of abstract to understand the underlying philosophy. It made me think for sure..
Regards...