Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Jul 25, 2020
This poem is part of the contest:

The Pandemic

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Letter to myself (August Contest)

I am writing this to myself for when the race of time has beaten me that this place at this time is our sanity’s swan song .Which presents itself in the form of riots, bloodshed ,fire ,laughter obvious signs of complete mass hysteria that surprisingly has exiled me out of this world of the living .For I right now am the viewer who is witnessing the end of all humanity and sanity and now witnessing the rise of these barbaric psychopaths who has drench themselves in the ocean of mass hysteria and now I see with my own two eyes rising from the water horrific obscene creatures whose eyes shows the signs of bloodlust and whose mind is nothing but a hollow shell with the outer-core of insanity holding the wishes of or thoughts of death ,devastation and destruction that they want to do so happily upon us finally bringing them their glorious intoxicating pleasure that brings them absolute joy and happiness for if they shall survive and not be put to rest by these so called people then god help me .

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde

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Comments

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 9 months ago

Hi Edward, nice to read you again. You always write about powerful topics, this is one I totally agree with.
Apart from that, you need to check some repetitions and typos. For now, it's a stream of consciousness paragraph. I'm sure you can work on it and turn it into a wonderful poem. You've got all the imagery, content and philosophical questions there, all you need to do is tidy it up.
I'll be back, enjoy reading you, always. Hope you're well, best, Gracy

Ray Whitaker

I have to agree with Gracy that the piece is a stream of consciousness piece. What is there is very strong, I’d recommend you put it in some form of your choosing. Make use of the white space.