Neopoet Random Challenge # 16

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Late Night Munchies # II... [Random Challege #16]

Hand full of peanuts
ear for the blues
bottle of aged whiskey
a heart full of you

Piano keys tinkling
Strings are humming
I see the blues
Yes, they're coming

Woman always picking
Blame me everything
But she got a sweet voice
Maaaan, she can sing

Fingers tap the ivory
high notes, guitar strum
Picking those notes
against slow beating drums

Hear my strings wail
the song of love wrong
Sax howling midnight
Feelings so strong

Oh God, am I crazy?
I'm happy with you
where there's whiskey,the munchies
and a thing called the blues

Last Few Words: I like this one better! What do you think?

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

this one better, what about you? ~ Geez.
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I like this one better than the first! it is amazing! my favorite lines:

Hear my strings wail
the song of love wrong
Sax howling midnight
Feelings so strong

I have no suggestions...you nailed it!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

Only critique I have is ending 2 lines with "blues". Maybe end 2nd with something like old songs?

think on it. ~ Geez.
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