Where are you from?
which language is yours?
you don’t understand our signs
all we speak is now strange to you
but we grew together without variance
why are you not listening?
we speak the same way before transition
Must we speak like the deaf
before our lips could be read
if that is what you want
we will surely speak it
every one understand the our request
this one community of ours speaks of it
it is the only language you understand
I don’t like this manner of speech
but it seems it is part of you
I hate to speak it
It stills many things
stomachs runs aches
the skull does not stop aching
but this is the only understandable medium
when it is spoken
breathes are at risk
must we speak such?
Give unto Ceaser what belongs to him
do you not think of the sounds around you?
speak in an understandable way
hearken to our voice
don’t see it as a noise
your new world is our craft work
don’t get us blame for making you stand tall
Comments
Agboola
A good write but the need to use the word Language so many times seems to dampen the message you need to put out.
"We speak of" and other ways can be used instead,
Yours Ian.T
Sparrow,
Sparrow,
I write to appreciated your constructive critique of the poem I will make the necessary correction.
Thank you.
Yours
Agboola
A good poem.
Some suggestions.
Trash the capitals at every line. That is a convention that no longer applies to good poetry. Let the grammar and the context lead the reader.
Also, this could be helped with a bit more punctuation. Some poets will try to write without it thinking the language itself will lead. I consider it a tool of poetry and I will use every tool at my disposal to make sure I am clearly understood.
The raw truth.
Welcome to NeoPoet.
Dear Snow,
Dear Snow,
I write to appreciated your constructive critique of the poem I will make the necessary corrections.
Thank you.
Yours
Agboola
I look forward to your
I look forward to your critiques.
Thanks