he stands on the hill
less than a man
skin rotted, feet molded
bones showing through hands
the warmth of the sun
unfelt on his skin
the blue of the sky
touches nothing within
wind gently flapping
his barely-there clothes
the face that is showing
slack in repose
the fire of motion
no longer in play
he stands calmly waiting
on the last day
a thing that has driven
his body along
isn't there any longer
last notes of the song
the hunger has died
no reason is left
the song has just gone
and now he is deaf
he crumbles, now sitting
with jaws open wide
the spark of once human
has finally died
sunshine caresses
his bleaching white bones
cleansing the air
the wind whistles tones
next to the zombie
his spark gone at last
I sit with my tears
remember the past
I wonder now
how will I die?
remembered by whom
and will they cry?
Comments
Are you watching The Last of Us?
Their take with fungal infection zombies is really interesting. Timely to make it into a show after the pandemic, because that's what it is in the games that the show is based on.
Your lines:
less than a man
skin rotted, feet molded
made me think of that show, because in some ways, they made these zombies more than just a person. They become a person overgrown with this monstrous fungus. Neat stuff. Terrifying, but neat.
A few lines later you have:
the warmth of the sun
unfelt on his skin
which is painfully beautiful to me. That is the entire tragedy of horror summed up really poignantly. What follows the fear and pain of horror is the pain of loss and grief. That's why I cry watching horror movies and shows half the time. lol
A few things to consider:
- his barely there clothes --> barely-there
- the shift to first person ("I") POV in the last stanza is a bit jarring:
Nothing prior in the poem gives the reader any indication that the zombie has retained sentience. The entire poem actually seems to point to the contrary, but then, surprise, we get his perspective. There is nothing wrong with this, but like I said, can be jarring, which isn't always what the poet intends. It's like the twist at the end of a movie, but sometimes those feel cheap/forced/lazy.
You may want to consider somehow adding a tiny hint somewhere early in the poem that foreshadows this shift to his perspective and intact sentience.
Good luck with the contest,
Kelsey
I am speechless
This left me speechless- these lines:
I wonder now
how will I die?
remembered by whom
and will they cry?
The things we think about when we realize time is moving faster than we ever gave thought- Those lines give us much to think about. The overall poem was fantastic- but I am partial to zombies and the likes. Great job!
Thank you...
Yes, I wonder, as I suppose most people do, at least every now and then. My character sitting alongside of the zombie as it crumbles, thinks that perhaps he is the last person alive. He wonders if maybe there is no one that will mourn him. I'm glad that you enjoyed! ~ Geez.
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Thank you...
for your wishes in the contest. No, my wife and I have been watching the zombie apocalypse
The Walking Dead and the spin off Fear the Walking Dead since their inception.
The Walking Dead has concluded after over a decade of shows and
Fear the Walking Dead is soon to follow. There are other shows that will fill the slots,
in the coming months, and we look forward to them. Some of the cast
will reprise their roles in the new shows, while some will doubtless be killed off.
The I referred to, is the last human left; [at least the last that he knows of].
[Witness the line: 'next to the zombie']. The zombies have an insatiable hunger for human flesh,
they have not retained sentience, rather a mindless hunger. Thank you for your read and comments, much appreciated. ~ Geezer.
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Got it.
I wasn't making the right interpretation on
"next to the zombie
his spark gone at last
I sit with my tears
remember the past"
All clear now.
My sister-in-law and brother really enjoyed The Walking Dead. I never got into it, but heard a lot of good things. I don't think I realized that there would be more stories told in that world after Fear the Walking Dead!
Kelsey
Zombies
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I love anything to do with Zombies, books, films, but I think this is the first poem I have seen. Loves it. Alex
I am so glad...
that you enjoyed this. I'm sure that there will eventually be another, just not when. I have another, but I am trying to find time to edit it. Once I do, it will be reposted. Keep watching. ~ Geezer.
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There is a movie like that
called Warm Bodies that I really enjoyed. It's based on a book. It's not a good movie for little kids - PG-13 rating - but it has a really good ending!
Kelsey
My wife and I...
have seen the one you speak of; yes, it was very cute! I'm sure that it is good for children to watch, so that they don't have nightmares about zombie apocalypse, as children are wont to do. I remember having nightmares about "The Creature From the Black Lagoon". I was twelve and went to see it alone. That movie scared me so bad, that I wouldn't swim in anything but a swimming pool for the whole next year! ~ Geezer.
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I love how the beginning of
I love how the beginning of this poem was able to express to readers how the zombie, presumably is hardly conscious because he is so unbothered by his senses "the warmth of the sun, unfelt on his skin" and "the blue of the sky touches nothing within." I think it's honorable that if you were to take away the "the last zombie" from the title, even without saying zombie within the poem readers may still be able to grasp the character you've created.
The second half of the poem, from my perspective, focuses more on the soul of the zombie, though he no longer has one, you did a great job expressing how depressing from an outsider's perspective it is for that soul to finally die. This was a very interesting theme and reminded me a bit of the new TV series "The last of us," as the show revolves around these "infected" who act similarly to the traditional 'zombie', they were once human but because they are now infected they are hardly conscious and act more as animals. I always wondered watching this show what it would be like to lose yourself but still technically be alive and whether there would still be parts of you conscious in that state. I think this poem does a good job analyzing this theme. Great work,
Leo
The last...
two stanzas are about another LIVING being. Not a zombie; they sit down beside the rotting zombie in a pile and wonder if they are the last so-called 'human' left alive, and if they will be mourned. ~ Geezer.
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In the Land of Chaos... [the last zombie]
Wow, completely blown away by this.
I liked the rhythm and the effect it has for the reader plus the contemplative tone running through the verses.
The metaphors, such as sun touching sky and his barely there clothes were immpresive and really helped to paint an image that held me until the end.
For fans of zombies and science fiction this is very appealing, I loved it :) x
Thank you for...
your read and comments. I tried to give the scene some 'life', [pun intended]. I needed to accent the final scene with the
natural end of death and decay. The promise of the sun and the wind offering a satisfying end to a saga. ~ Geezer.
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