Timbo
Timbo
Jan 18, 2011

Lady Of The Light.

You were always the faithful one
with a saviour in your heart
you had seen the light of the Lord
from the very start.
even in your darkest days
and the autumn of your life
you never lost faith in the Lord
lady of the light.

Now you have left this life
and in us a memory
but we all think of you
and how you used to be
you had been the special one
when you lived your life
with a special kind of love
lady of the light.

And when I look back on life
I often think of you
looking out your window
the way you used to do
watching children go off to school
in the morning light
smiling to the world outside
lady of the light.

Now you are there in Heaven
and back again once more
with those who you had loved
who had to go before
always forever the faithful one
when you lived your life
for you had seen the light of the Lord
lady of the light.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A poem for my Mother, a strong christian women who lost her life to cancer a number of years ago.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Favorite Poets: Rather than poets I tend to be influenced by songwriters and have a love of lyrics.

More from this author

Comments

Timbo

Thank you for your thoughful comments which are always appreciated. Glad to see you back on her and hope all goes well with the course you are planning to do.
take care,
Tim

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years 3 months ago

Timbo,

great tribute and tight rhyming sequence too.

I always find it hard to critique a poem when it is a tribute and clearly written with love and affection. That said, I just wonder if stanza three should have followed the other stanza's by having the last word of line six and line eight being 'Life & Light'. You used 'Light' twice in that stanza and that stood out as being out of sequence.

It's your poem and a wondeful one it is too, but I just wanted to mention that stanza as I am keen on uniformity.

Thanks for sharing my friend,

HS

Timbo

Timbo

14 years 3 months ago

In reply to by Hooded Stranger

Thanks again for commenting and I see what you mean about the third stanza, which was originally a chorus which repeated, but I only left it like this as I thought it would never be a song. Shame!
take care,
Tim

Hooded Stranger

Tim,

thanks for clarifying stanza three. It isn't obvious that it was a chorus as it didn't differ much from the other stanza's. Stanza three is just as powerful as the other verses, so I would suggest writing a new chorus with a slightly different stance.

It could be a song very easily. Happy to assist if you ever choose to evolve it from a poem into lyrics.

Kind regards,

HS