The Knowing - (final cut) - storytelling in verse - (final story)

If my mind is ever present

and my solitude's a friend,

dark ideas lead to actions

darker actions, towards a trend;

~

a stoic calm is my exterior

never, ever break a sweat,

in the hollow of my inner being

I've this appetite to whet.

~

Within the chasm where my soul goes

a dank pulsating yearns to start,

tuning out the distant conscience

because I haven't any heart;

~

half the time I am the predator

in the darkness after day,

daylight time I am more subtle

for that's when I'm the prey.

~

Careful not to draw suspicion

I've a stealth-like, calm demeanor,

inside my blood runs caustic

for I'm stronger, smarter, leaner.

~

It happens differently, each evening

my resolve to do things right,

is camouflaged by swift shadows

that accompany each night.

~

My "Lucy" is my favorite

she always does the trick,

carving cleanly through my urges

where the river flows so thick;

~

and they never see her coming

I must say, it's quite a gift,

afterwards, there is "the knowing"

and that thrill gives me a "lift".

~

"Lovely Lucy's" labyrinthian logic

through a haze-like, sort of dream;

plunges gristle 'til the warm flows

in blind panic, so it would seem.

~

Treasured tempo of her existence

spins a well learned tale out loud,

certain intimate surroundings

houses guests, without the crowd.

~

Lightning steely flashes sojourn

chiseled features in night's dark,

I deliver Lucy's journey

her arrival, cold and stark!

~

If my mind is ever reeling

quiet solitude is mine, again;

shadow thoughts link to my actions

will these murders ever end?

~

Shuddering, I shake awake

bedclothes damp with my own sweat,

a fortnight have I had these images

that cause my brain to "fret".

~

I believe were I not startled

from this vile dreamscape, mine;

I'd either harness my inner demons,

or my sanity with too much twine!

~

What darkly disturbs my shadows

as my dream drifts into "play",

is how my heart can justify

what I'd never, ever say!

~

So corrupt, and evil is my "knowing"

that pains my heart so deep,

I awaken darkly craving, light

in hopes to stave-off sleep!

~

The facts my heart can justify

appear so hideously, cold;

daybreak pales in comparison

with a dream this dark, and bold!

~

Then daylight loses patience

as my heart loses it's breath,

it appears this lone soliloquy

can be only ceased through, "death"!

~

I'm fearful for my soul each night

should I die before I wake,

will these hollow, inner demons

try and lose me in their wake?

~

If my mind is thinking freely

why would my conscience bend?

If my dreamscape is but fantasy

will reality be my end?

~

Concerned for the state of health

that's housed inside my brain,

relieved for the safety of everyone else

but concerned that I'm insane.

~

Slowly, I start my day's routine

proud not to be in a "murderer's club",

until I'm shocked past what words could say

as I find a woman's body in my tub!

~

Dr. Jekyll's mind disassociated

between fantasy and what was real,

what differed in our psyches

was our propensities to feel!

~

Horrified at what I felt

while my mind, and heart waged "war";

I exited my bathroom

and quickly locked the door.

~

If my heart is in denial

about dead strangers, and dead friends;

I'm relieved at least to "know" me

maybe someday, I'll make amends.

~

As things happen, over on the couch

lay my dead bather's coat, and purse.

With evidently, no clues in her coat

I began thinking my plight was worse!

~

Then, just as I'd anticipated

her purse housed quite a yield,

I now, possessed her address book

plus, a wallet with a detective's shield!

~

Now, either way my "goose was cooked"

the scenario was crystal clear,

apparently, we had shared dinner

not to mention, several pitchers of beer.

~

This, "knowing" was turning out to be

way too costly, for this "killer",

in fact, the accountant in my blood

made me think that I should, bill her!

~

In a mind that's no more comforting

than a dried-up, wishing well;

I find me shackled to "my knowing"

in my private, version of...."Hell".

~