If my mind is ever present
and my solitude's a friend,
dark ideas lead to actions
darker actions, towards a trend;
~
a stoic calm is my exterior
never, ever break a sweat,
in the hollow of my inner being
I've this appetite to whet.
~
Within the chasm where my soul goes
a dank pulsating yearns to start,
tuning out the distant conscience
because I haven't any heart;
~
half the time I am the predator
in the darkness after day,
daylight time I am more subtle
for that's when I'm the prey.
~
Careful not to draw suspicion
I've a stealth-like, calm demeanor,
inside my blood runs caustic
for I'm stronger, smarter, leaner.
~
It happens differently, each evening
my resolve to do things right,
is camouflaged by swift shadows
that accompany each night.
~
My "Lucy" is my favorite
she always does the trick,
carving cleanly through my urges
where the river flows so thick;
~
and they never see her coming
I must say, it's quite a gift,
afterwards, there is "the knowing"
and that thrill gives me a "lift".
~
"Lovely Lucy's" labyrinthian logic
through a haze-like, sort of dream;
plunges gristle 'til the warm flows
in blind panic, so it would seem.
~
Treasured tempo of her existence
spins a well learned tale out loud,
certain intimate surroundings
houses guests, without the crowd.
~
Lightning steely flashes sojourn
chiseled features in night's dark,
I deliver Lucy's journey
her arrival, cold and stark!
~
If my mind is ever reeling
quiet solitude is mine, again;
shadow thoughts link to my actions
will these murders ever end?
~
Shuddering, I shake awake
bedclothes damp with my own sweat,
a fortnight have I had these images
that cause my brain to "fret".
~
I believe were I not startled
from this vile dreamscape, mine;
I'd either harness my inner demons,
or my sanity with too much twine!
~
What darkly disturbs my shadows
as my dream drifts into "play",
is how my heart can justify
what I'd never, ever say!
~
So corrupt, and evil is my "knowing"
that pains my heart so deep,
I awaken darkly craving, light
in hopes to stave-off sleep!
~
The facts my heart can justify
appear so hideously, cold;
daybreak pales in comparison
with a dream this dark, and bold!
~
Then daylight loses patience
as my heart loses it's breath,
it appears this lone soliloquy
can be only ceased through, "death"!
~
I'm fearful for my soul each night
should I die before I wake,
will these hollow, inner demons
try and lose me in their wake?
~
If my mind is thinking freely
why would my conscience bend?
If my dreamscape is but fantasy
will reality be my end?
~
Concerned for the state of health
that's housed inside my brain,
relieved for the safety of everyone else
but concerned that I'm insane.
~
Slowly, I start my day's routine
proud not to be in a "murderer's club",
until I'm shocked past what words could say
as I find a woman's body in my tub!
~
Dr. Jekyll's mind disassociated
between fantasy and what was real,
what differed in our psyches
was our propensities to feel!
~
Horrified at what I felt
while my mind, and heart waged "war";
I exited my bathroom
and quickly locked the door.
~
If my heart is in denial
about dead strangers, and dead friends;
I'm relieved at least to "know" me
maybe someday, I'll make amends.
~
Comments
I really like...
this one! You have gotten into a killer's mind. Or maybe a killer's mind has gotten into you! It certainly is a release of tension, to write like this. I urge you to come to my Chat on the darkside. i think you have much to offer. Great thought put into this one! ~ Gee
My laptop was stolen. I have a phone internet only.
Sincerely, thankyou. I'll have 2 wait & see.
Jesus H. Krist! Have you no
Jesus H. Krist! Have you no soul, man?
lol I lika this poem, the rhyme & meter...wayyyy cool. You bad boy you.
~A
I'm soo pleased that this one caught your discerning eye!
Thak-you for the comment! Even though I'm a bad boy?
china blue
Thanx for the comment, and read. Never been called redundant before. You're a little nit-pickey, aren't you? It's okay...I think it's fixed.
doc.
ps) Wait! Hold on, a minute! Where'd you go, china?
Hey! Where'd she GO?
What in frickin' hell?
Okay, if this is a post for our storytelling workshop, I think you might need an exposition to explain the exposition. Actually, I think I got the gist. By itself this is a wickedly dark piece. Whether this is a successful exposition will depend on the next part. You seem to have enough pieces for a solid start, but they will have to be clarified as you go on. I'm withholding my "grade" until I see where this heads.
As poetry, it is one of the most subtle, outrageous things of yours I have read.
Creepy.
Disturbing.
Wonderful.
Don't leave us with only this.
wesley
Disturb ia
Ism...Im a horror fan from Poe to Rob Zombie..(Love his wife)
fantastic peice of poetry here!
our many pet names for our fiction lusts urges appetites
(Neo Petz) Im on Human Pets, thats a trippy place too!
Glad you delve into this Doc
more common ground then one thinks
and now with the modern free for all Interior Net
Thank You
Thanx, lion eyes....
...kind, sorta like "dissed-urbia", if you will. Bar the gates!
Really.......thanx;
doc.
Thanx, lion eyes....
...kind, sorta like "dissed-urbia", if you will. Bar the gates!
Really.......thanx;
doc.
"Disturbia, like "Exotica"
movies in the dark lair of human hearts
I loved David Lynch still do
Twin Peaks of course
and Blue Velvet
Isabella Rossellini
and Dennis Hopper as Frank
many of the convicted killers
for multiple crimes wrote poetry
and drew sketchs and painted
pictures
those of course were the ones
caught..many were just rather
dull ordinary people
existing in a belief system that
existed outside society
I watch a lot of the "profilier" shows
these days and loved "Dexter"
on television
"dissed-urbia" love that twist!
The hounds of eskerville....
...are clearly out and about! Steer clear, the maddening crowd....or, you may easily be slain in the process of the vote.......whatever "that" means.
doc.
By the way....
...your name means "kinship", to me.
doc.
nothing like a hot torch
bounding in the night
the ordinary farmhands
full of passion for a kill
not unlike those they chase
perverted logic
but one duly noted
why does man hate the Lion maneater
(Great movie about the legendary african
lion who consumed many before finally
being brought down only by a great feat
of work)
or the wolves that once ran in packs
and still occasionally try to drag the unsuspecting
away by the head.. (alaska??) a few years ago
anyway..Their jaws more powerful then any
domesticated dog..They can crush moose
bones apart for marrow treats
Chernobyl they are taking over the territory vacant
and gaurded from the poison of radiation which
is still powerful..feeding on the other animals
filling in where man has left
Nature taking over her own too
Okay.
Exposition and complication. Check. A bit too inferred for my taste, but solid nonetheless. And before I get too far... this is good poetry. A wicked, wandering mode that kept me glued.
Now, the climax. I don't know. I am big on stressing that a climax need not be thunder and lightning. Small, subtle things make for a climax as well as small nuclear devices. This seemed to have none of the above. There was never that moment of "whoa" I need to see in a climax. The piece resolved itself, but it resolved to the old status quo. We were made to understand our protagonist's "Nightmare" scenario, but nothing changed after that. Essentially, the poem is one great exposition/complication. We are left still needing things to come to a head and change. Great poetry, but only the beginning of great storytelling.
Do not misunderstand... what you produced is riveting. Maybe some of your best verse. As a story it is unfinished.
wesley
Sir wes....
...I am, even as we "speak"; working on the conclusion of my story. Misguided, or not....I was under the impression that we would be "graded" on completion of the tasks...not the overall content.
My bad,
doc.
Okay....
...now, I'm up to a clean, round, 100 lines; the last 20 lines having been added to, (I hope), complete my story in a "grounded" sort of way. What say you, now.......sir wesley?
In need of pertinent feedback,
yours, in storybookland;
doc.
I have to go to work.
I will be here this afternoon to read yours and Geezer's finished work. No one gets a grade around here I think, but if we were passing them out for this workshop it would be based on the clarity of our four components. Strangely enough, this exercise has managed to draw from YOU some of the best "poetry" I've read of yours. We'll tell what we think of story, but as a poetic piece... you get an A+. This is some gorgeous language.
Until later.
wesley
Mr. Snow....
...any better?
doc.
Okay, I hope this makes sense.
Exposition is sound and now a clearer complication. A body in the tub. Did he kill it? Someone else?
The problem with our resolution is that it does not resolve into a NEW status quo. We are left with everything pretty much where it was. Our protagonist is freaked out (and possibly quite nuts), I'm still not sure if he's really committing murders or just imagining them, but that's neither here nor there. A climax is when our complication comes to a head. I just discussed this with Moonman. Our character must be forced to a scenario in which decisions must be made and consequences suffered. Whether they are good or ill is the art of the story. But there must be consequences of our complication that when we resolve things have changed.
Now, I still think this is some of the best poetry you've written and standing alone as a poem it is creepy as hell (that's a good thing).
As a story we still must progress beyond our status quo.
wesley