Rula

Jan 12, 2013

This poem is part of the workshop:

fixed verse – it's not a curse

(Read More...)

Description: Context can be critical to poetics. For example, poetry that records historic events in epics, such as Gilgamesh, will necessarily be lengthy and narrative, while poetry used for liturgical purposes (hymns, psalms, sutras and hadiths) needs to have an inspirational tone. Elegy and tragedy are meant to evoke deep emotional responses, while comic is supposed to provoke laughter.

Various forms of poetry have been ‘invented’ throughout history, as poets have attempted to find the most appropriate and effective way to use sound to present their message.

Poetic form refers to various sets of "rules" followed by poems of certain types. The rules may describe such aspects (amongst many others) as the rhythm or meter of the poem; its rhyme scheme; use of (for example) repetition or alliteration, even length.

This workshop will be an ongoing (superficial) examination of various forms within the ‘western’ tradition, in which we will simply take one at a time and, after a short discussion to ascertain its purpose, attempt to write one ourselves (or more if we so desire).

Leader: judyanne

Moderator(s): wesley snow

Objectives: The goal of this workshop is to familiarise ourselves with various types of poetry in order to raise our awareness as to the effectiveness of different forms to deliver different messages. It is also the goal of this workshop to practice our iambic/ trochaic, in preparation for a future sonnet workshop.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: A form of poetry will be presented once a week. It will not be necessary for you to try every form if you join the shop – merely the ones that interest you. It will be necessary, however, to contribute to short discussions and comment on any poems posted by others in the shop.

Please note: the AC has changed it so Workshop postings no longer count in the one-poem-to-be-submitted-a-day rule. Members can post as many workshop contributions as they need to and still post a poem a day.

This workshop is closed.

Just like this

I wrote your name in caps and bold
on sheets of gold
to simply glow
to tell and show.

You wrote my name on withered sand
with shaky hand
when winds then blew
and left no clue.

So guess in peace you forced my heart-
my dearest part
to face a fate
before its date.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A minute poem.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Rula

This was unusual for you a little factual and loose..
The references are fine and the theme good but to me the words could have had more strength.
Hope you are OK out there your output seems less the last few weeks or is it just me.
Take care of you, Yours as always, Ian.T

Ian

Thank you. You are right . I think this is due to form it-self. It is more for humorous subject as the lines are really short but I couldn't come up with anything funny. I might think of something else later on that suits this form. Untill then this is all I have .

P.s. As for being inactive, I have been to Jordan for a week as a short quick vacation and I am still out of writing mood.Hope I'd be back soon .
Thanks for your concerns sir.

Rula

Lovely to have you return safe form your Homeland.
Your progress through the Neopoet workshops and learning is an example to us all.
I only wish that I was really young enough, to be able to learn all this about poetry.
I have for years just scribbled in a notebook and on the computer also written pieces for individuals, so I would have loved to have been able to put the words in their correct forms.
I is not "Sir" just Ian, as I can I hope, call you Rula, titles are for those others that need such things, lol
You take care as you are worth such a lot to our site, and there is no hurry to write, it is of the heart not from necessity..
Yours as always Ian.T

A rather different poem well

A rather different poem well done that's creative indeed,
The only thing that stopped me, was the word SHADE
the logic of it just there bothered me.
otherwise I thought it a good one Rula,
Love to you, from Ann.

Anna

many thanks for pointing out what bothers you here. I am really happy you've dropped in your comment. Both yours and Ian's enlightened my way to this new form. Any better now?

Hello Rula

I have to agree with Ann on this one it is a rather different form but I really loved the format you have made me think I may try and write one in a similar format
I liked this one as well nicely done

kindest regards JC x

Hello Seren

many thanks for giving the time. So happy that you like it.

i love this rula

sorry i have been so long in commenting - i am having trouble with both my computer and my muses
- my computer is playing up and my muses are sulking for some reason... and making me disinterested in writing or reading poetry at the moment.... they will get over it eventually - i think they think i just need a break lol

anyway - back to the wite - as i said i really like it - it is whimsical or wistful or some such emotion i just can't quite describe... and i think it fits the form perfectly

i tried to read the revisions, but they are not clear - however, it seems annanya gave you some good advice here xxx

love judy
xxx
.

Hello dear judy

Very strange how we share the lost of muses . I've been trying to find a subject for the last exe. but couldn't till this time . I hope it won't last long.
I am happy to know that you liked this one. It was a great fun to try new forms indeed.

Hi Rula

Goes to show what I know about different forms. Until I read comments I thought this just another free verse lol.One minor change might clarify what you mean to convey. 1st line of last stanza try changing So to I.
Now if you still want to inject humor, you might add a stanza stating what revenge you intend.....................stan

dearest stan

lol - please read the instructions for the different forms before suggsting additions - this one does not cater to a further stanza :)
xxx

Doh!

Didn't catch that this was a shop poem lol. So I now retreat to wash egg from face.............stan

Hello Stan

Any way I appreciate your suggestions and the nice visit.

the single leaf,

This is so neat, I came back and really love it,
as judyanne says somewhere here, its difficult
to say exactly what it means, but that leaves
us, the readers to make their own conclusions,
and that is a sign of great poetry, just as it is with
great art of any kind, the interplay of spectator
and audience, is what makes the electricity of
art send flames of recognition deep into the heart.

And like the single rose,
the single leaf,
being short, it floats into the mind
on the wings of your verse, and lodges there,
to be enjoyed like a gem, or much loved stone
in ones pocket, brought out and looked at again and again.

Love Ann- annanya.

I add a bit...

The only thing I don't like about it is the CAPS; BOLD,
they stand out as too important, in the visual grasp of
the poem, wouldn't caps and bold, be descriptive enough.
even if the feel strong.

Love Ann.

dear rula

i agree with annanya's added bit :-)
'caps' and 'bold' need to be in the same case and style and as the rest of the poem xx
'

Thanks ladies

edited as suggested . Thanks for the second thoughts..:)

Oh yes, oh yes dear Rula.

Oh yes, oh yes dear Rula.
You know, the only word that now prevents this from being GREAT is withered,
as I cannot make sand withered in my mind, it isn't made of stuff that can wither.
so its just the logic of it.

I love it, I think it GREAT poetry.

Love to you from Ann.

oh i have to disagree annanya

'withered sand' is perfect - it was one of the things that sold me on the first read
have you never been to the desert my lady of the northern lights?
xxxx

Ah the only meaning I can see

Ah the only meaning I can see is weathered
from whence the word withered came, but that's archaic.
It must be an accepted word to describe something
curled and dry as well as sand in Australian.

This poem hasn't used unusual words otherwise
illogical words, if it was made up of such one
wouldn't react to the withered, but I still do.

Sorry,
love to you judyanne, I hope all is well with you,
in your Summer dress, annanya.

again sweet ladies

many thanks for your thoughts. It might seem unusual to use withered with sand but i thought anything that has beauty could wither one day.