Michael Anthony
Michael Anthony
May 16, 2021

Journal Entry - July, 2018

I keep calling my mother's voicemail,
though she’s been gone for months,
to hear her voice again

I consider leaving a message, but don’t
I will though, but not just now
Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow

Even with loss in bloom,
I’m sure I’ll be stronger soon
Maybe I’ll think of something to say
when the memories aren’t crashing in all around me

It’s just a simple message to leave
You’ll be there one more time for me
so we can talk about how we’ve been,
here, among the ashes

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Revisiting an older piece not posted here. Thanks to Mark for his input. Best

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski

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Comments

atorn

atorn

3 years 11 months ago

I'm not so hot at putting critiques into words but I know what I like and this poem is perfect in it's simplicity. The words capture the longing, the loss and the need to accept what befalls us all. I love the closing line it is the perfect ending

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 11 months ago

I would change here. Nice stuff! My own Mother is in very poor health at ninety-four and we don't expect her to make her ninety-fifth birthday in the fall. I wish that I had had the presence of mind to record the birthday call that she made with the help of my sister yesterday! We joked and it was the first time in a long time that I heard her laugh. I will see her this weekend and hope that maybe I can get something for a reminder, like you have. ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

this is so full of loving, it brought tears to my eyes! that takes a lot, because I am not a weepy person. I lost my Dad when I was eighteen. my mother and I were at odds, to put it lightly. but just before she passed, she asked me for forgiveness... I gave it, and sent her off with an unburdened heart.

*hugs, Cat
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