Blue-eyed Bolla
Blue-eyed Bolla
May 14, 2023

Jesus-Fire

You’re gonna burn with Jesus-Fire.
(Honestly, I ain’t no liar!)
But if you make Him Lord and Master,
you’ll dodge damnation’s dread disaster.

You're gonna live, and live forever,
when slender strand will snap and sever
your soul from body, you’ve been used to,
you're gonna sup some savage strange brew

unless you trust the man, J.C.
(From fascist fears He’ll set you free!)
And when that bitter bonfire’s burning,
the wages that your sins were earning,

you won't be banking; there's no needing:
Jesus Christ’s done all the bleeding!
Forget the pope, the priests, the church.
Despite what science says, you search!

You’re gonna burn with Jesus-Fire.
Your situation’s dark and dire.
Let losers scoff and cynics sneer.
you come to Christ. Salvation’s here.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: the fearless poet-preacher gives it you between the eyes

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Buxton, Derbyshire., GBR

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Jesus-Fire" is a religious piece that seeks to persuade readers to accept Jesus Christ as their savior to avoid eternal damnation. The use of rhyme and repetition in the poem adds emphasis to the message, making it memorable. The poem's tone is serious, and the author employs a direct approach to get their point across.

However, the poem's language can be seen as exclusionary and divisive, as it dismisses other religious figures and beliefs. The line "Forget the pope, the priests, the church" may be offensive to some readers and could have been expressed differently to avoid alienating them.

Overall, the poem is effective in its message, but it could benefit from a more inclusive tone. One suggested line edit could be "Despite what others say, you search" to avoid dismissing science or other beliefs.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Fearless indeed! I feel the fire and energy! The lines that seem to touch me the most are the ones that AI warns may be offensive, but necessary to truly know the depth of faith:
"Forget the pope, the priest, the church,
despite what science says, you search!" Always...
L

Blue-eyed Bolla

Thank you, yeah Neo is correct - politically and in tune with the present cultural climate. However, the message IS exclusive: One way JC! Again, thanks for stopping by and staying with me. I suspect that I will not win fans this way. lol