It's hard for me to put this down
I don't want to see you frown
But I have this thing to do
Please accept my apology to you
I try to bottle-up my feelings
Just to keep them inside
I know I have to tell someone
But I can't even explain
Since I can't tell you
There's one thing I can do
To write a poem
Then maybe you'll understand them
I know I have to ask for help
Just like you told me
But I'm taking a different direction
That's to write to you
Please help me I do not understand
What my fears are
Or what I'm scared of
Maybe you could help me work on that
Then we all can understand
It's kind of a hustle
And a bustle
Or a heavy load
That I myself can't carry alone
I plead with you
To help me carry this load
That's pulling me down
All the way to the ground
I'm just a growing child
Who is yet to understand life
Maybe you teach me
All you know about it
So I don't have to fight
To survive outside
You could be my life coach
But take a different approach
On teaching me the smart side
Of the outside life
I know and understand
I'm leaving you soon
But there's a lot I have to learn
Many more achievements to earn
We could work together
Help out each other
I'm using writing as a medium
To reach you Dad and Mum
Please help me understand
All you know so I stand
Comments
Helping...
I had no idea of the challenges that you face everyday.
You have a remarkable outlook on life.
Your parents should have a good deal of pride in you.
Here are one of my suggestions to help with your poem:
"It's hard for me to put this down
I don't want to see you frown
But I have this thing to do
Please accept my apology to you"
I do believe that this says what you want to say;
you are apologizing to your parents for
making them worry about your mental health and asking them
to worry more, that maybe they aren't doing enough?
I understand that you have trouble talking to them face-to-face
and feel like if you write it, you won't forget to say what you need to say.
You have the makings of a good poet. I don't want to rewrite your whole poem
for you, so I will leave you with the example of what it is to write in rhyme.
As I have said before, you don't always have to write in rhyme.
I believe that you have shown that you can meld free verse and rhyme
and still get your ideas across.
Good luck in communicating with your parents.
~ Geezer.
.
Thanks a lot for everything
Thanks a lot for everything you've said Mr Geezer.
I'm I'm really happy about what you said on my positive outlook on life and the makings of a good Poet.Thanks again.
dear Kammy,
I love the tentative way you approach your parents with the desire to communicate with them. you want to help them to understand that, yes you are a teen, but you are growing and changing. you want to incorporate their wisdom in this (sometimes painful) process. (by-the-way, I think you are beautiful, both inside and outside!) my favorite lines are:
I'm just a growing child
Who is yet to understand life
Maybe you (can) teach me
All you know about it
So I don't have to fight
To survive outside
I think you are trying to prepare both yourself and your parents for the time to come when you leave home.
*hugs, Cat
Thank you so much! Lady Cat!
Thank you so much! Lady Cat!
I really appreciate all you've said about me and my inner personalities.
dearest Kammy,
I have a few inner personalities myself, LOL! I hope what I wrote helps you with your turmoil.
*hugs, Cat
It sure did and for this I'm
It sure did and for this I'm very grateful. I really appreciate you.
Hello
A mix of rhyme and free verse....this is the direction in which I see poetry evolving.
It is really cool way of
It is really cool way of expressing one's feelings. Glad you liked it.
Thank you.