it's better if she doesn't know,
better keep it from than to say it all,
i felt stronger yet i always show
a big desire for an impossible....
if she knew my feelings, she might build a wall
and eventually she might hide her glow,
when on is a sight of an untimely fall,
it's always better if she doesn't know...
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Comments
tnx for the constructive comment..
i will use it for further works..don't u know that what im referring here is "moon"....
White
It is four years now and about time this one was polished for the new Neopoet,
Yours Ian.T