Is it?

Great theme. In my opinion, though, it would benefit from stronger language. Also, it is very abstract. Tying into the surroundings via imagery could help it go to the next level.

Thanks for posting,

I like what you tried to convey, in poetry imagery is an important factor. I also would like to say that when you write your grammar is very important also. you do not want your reader to stumble on miss spelling. I can clearly see you do have talent. you just need to pay more attention to your writing. always after you write something read it over aloud once or twice and read the words that are actually on the page, don't let your mind read it make your eyes see the words a pronounce them as they were meant to sound. you will see that after a while your writing will become so much better and the reader will be able to see the imagery you have created.
Example:
"I could feel the heat of the hot sun
as I came out of the cool shade
of my home"
Can you see the comparison of the cool and the heat. (shade then sun)
that is imagery.
You have in you, can't wait to read your next poem.
One more thing take your time when you write
here is a practice I learned in writing class
Sit somewhere look at a tree, a lake or a mount.
write for one minute all that you see and all it can do without stopping. don't worry about grammar this is just an imagery exercise,

For instants;
The tree is large and has leaves it shade me from the sun it can provide wood for fire it is a home for birds and insects I can play on the tree by climbing it I can hang a rope and make a swing.

I hope you can see where I am going with this, these are things that are in your mind, so lets call them imagery from yours. This is how you learn to put it on paper
keep writing Mo, it is your freedom.

Eddie C.