scribbler
Feb 29, 2016

IMPACT CRATER

A hollow type of dull low sound
followed by acorns shaken from oak trees
which bounce off the wet red ground
which has just begun to now unfreeze.

All the wildlife has gone still
at having felt this minor shake,
hardly sensed beyond this hill,
an unrecorded mini-quake.

Impact ripples cross the beaver pond.
They form then they disappear
hardly breaking surface tension's bond.
One single snort from a near deer.

I see this from a lowly point of view
while waiting for knee pain to pass.
I'll tell you now that this is through
I slipped and fell down on my ass.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Geezer

some impact! Laughed my ass off! I've slipped and fallen in the woods myself and although my small frame didn't leave a crater, the woods did get still and I thought that I could hear the stifled snickers of a mob of crows! Loved this one! ~ Gee.

S

It's too bad that so much of my stuff is based on actual experiences. About a month ago I WAS walking in the damp wood and somehow managed to slip on an unseen slick spot. Still don't know how I fell on both bad knee and ass at same time (must be limber when I fall lol). So I laid there a few minutes waiting before seeing if I'd Really messed up knee. Luckily pain resided and I slowly got up and shambled back to truck. Friends and family found out about it and I got chewed out by 4 different people for walking alone in the woods ...............stan

Seren

Seren

9 years 2 months ago

I saw a meteor last night I actually saw the flames .. freaked me out for a Milli second lol

love this one Bro biggest smile what more can I say I tried to find something to suggest but your getting too damned good, perfection is at hand

love and hugs Sis xxx

S

are just getting soft hearted in "old" age lol. I think I saw something on the news about a fireball in Australia. I thought it was some guy with tabascoe sauce on his privates lol. I've only ever seen one fireball about 2-3 years ago while driving back from a hunting trip. I'm always glad to bring a smile to your face and thanks for dropping by..........stan