Immortal Martyr

I was captivated
by those tearful eyes
soon they consumed me
to become mine

they were brimming with pride and sorrow
of a war widow for her knight
returning home as a martyr

with a solemn tribute disguised in her tears
she laid him to rest in the cockles of her heart

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

Hello raj

A different take of the military memories which makes it distinguished as are all your works. I wish that you would rework some few things and enter it. We are all writing for fun here. Winning comes in the second place so please don't hesitate.

Back to the poem, I thought the use of the pronoun "they" is a bit confusing in the second as well as third stanzas.
Does it refer back to "the eyes" or the "tears"?

I also thought "Martys never Die" is another good title for this piece.... just saying:)
V. much like it

Salamet

thanks for the read and query about context of "they"...whether it is a reference to the tears or eyes...

actually "they" represent both eyes as well as tears but leaning more towards tears which are an icon of emotion....don't know if you agree with this explanation....however since you as a reader was confused, i will see if i can fix it with some alternatives...

thanks for a suggestion about title too...i may go for Immortal Martyr..what do you think about that?
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found a new idiom! "cockles

found a new idiom! "cockles of the heart." :) i like the emotion of this piece. pride and sorrow are a complex mix of emotions, so appropriate for this piece. i like the irony of "returning home as a martyr," because he's coming back to his wife, as an immortal in her heart, but in reality he's not returning, only in spirit or in heart or in meaningful tears shed for many years after.