I wished with grace upon your head
Something great, majestic in tale
Where the radiant walking of life
Crowns vows whispered in night.
For a breath gently held
To remain tender in whole to bear,
With acceptance of your own gifting right;
There being no place
For pooled darkness to scoff forth
A piece of kindling spirit,
No murmurs roaring contradictions
No option of destruction.
Awake.
Take a stare.
Wishful in taste I stay.
Fragile in every sense,
But ready to take a step.
Please come
Enlighten to me shades of sense.
Comments
Hello
Thanks for taking the time to read my poem. I hadn't been on Neopoet for a while and so i figured replying back after months would be odd. As for the last line, I wasn't sure how to end the poem, but in the end I was content with what I wrote. Would you suggest an alternative?
Hello
I read the poem again and your right, the end did fall a bit weak. Your ending works very well, thank you. I'll be sure to change it.
good insightful right
good insightful write wishing some one the best of life,as a kindered spirit.
I do agree with Rosi that the end does kind of leave you wanting of something .
welcome to Neopoet land of the freed poets.
Eddie Cruz
(Eddie is good no formality here)
Thank you, and yes i ended up
Thank you, and yes i ended up making a change in the end.