I Owe You So Much, Dad

Very nice work, and good to see some rhyme. For all of us, myself included, who have lost their fathers, and who has fond memories, this this is a lovely poem. Thank you for the smiles.

If I may suggest, try a very specific form such as sonnet. Google it, tons of info online. Do them fun, just pick any subject; it's like a musician, ALL musicians play scales, all artists sketch, and poetry has its exercises too. Also, try to add some metaphor, some like or as, as that is part of the substance of poetry. Poetry has often been described as charged words, not charged ideas. Metaphor is one of the ways to do that.
It seems to me you are a a little new at this, and I'm trying to guide you in the way I learned.
One never stops learning from other poets.

I have also lost my father. We all know it will happen some day but for some reason we still leave words unsaid. I enjoyed the poem but think the form needs a bit of help........stan

I lost my dad forty eight years
down memory lane
he always helped me
to misery sustain
but left me so much pain
no, not as much as from his departure
as much as the ills
and Wills
he left upon my shoulders
then hardly thirty

Till today
I am taking pills
he has left no payments
for my medical bills
and
the laziness
and
non cooperation of my siblings does kill
when will you join pop all ask me still.

How I wish pop came back
in some form
and
evacuated me
from this miserable dorm
of only toil
as in summer I boil
as he basks in the heavens
all alone
but has left me
too only moan

The poem's form needs work. However, (having lost my daddy at twelve) I find the subject quite beautiful. Also, it is good to see rhyme. Try a sonnet. Really. Try a sonnet. The directions are easy to find or ask one of us. I am at your disposal if you have questions as I am sure others are too.

Nothing much to add; except read, read, read, sonnets and whatever suits your fancy. Glad to see another rhymer. Too few of us left. ~ Geezer.
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