I Know

I know that I might never be
Anything as beautiful as a tree
I know that I might never find
That special thing called 'peace of mind'.

I know no matter how hard I try,
That I will never, ever fly
I know that deep within my heart
My life could stop, I could fall apart.

I know that way down, deep inside
The child within did run and hide
I know the fear that's deep within
Will show itself, no matter where I've been!

The tears do trickle down my cheek
I know right now I'm very weak
All I can do is to do for me
Lock up my feelings, throw away the key!

People say 'you shouldn't let them show'
They don't understand, they just don't know
If I did, if I let them out
My soul would rip, my heart would shout

I know the words I meant to say
Yet I open my mouth, they float away!
I know that when my words I blurt
Can come out wrong and sometimes hurt

I know when sad, these pills I take
I want to sleep, never to wake!
I know it's bad to want to die
I just get tired when all I do is cry!

I know I see inside ones self
Is to take my feelings off the shelf
But scared these things do make me feel
My anger rages, emotions reel

I know it's calm before the storm
So I'll stay here safe and just keep warm
I know that one day all will be clear
So I'll try to stay safe and hold my friends near.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thank you for reading.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia- Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Robert Louis-Stevenson

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "I Know," demonstrates a strong command of rhyme and rhythm, which aids in creating a consistent flow throughout the piece. The use of repetition, particularly the phrase "I know," effectively emphasizes the speaker's self-awareness and introspection.

However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. While the emotions are clearly conveyed, the use of more specific and vivid images could help the reader connect more deeply with the speaker's feelings. For instance, instead of stating "The tears do trickle down my cheek," the poet might consider describing the sensation or the circumstances in a more unique or detailed way.

The poem also seems to rely heavily on telling rather than showing. For example, "I know it's bad to want to die" directly tells the reader what the speaker is feeling. Instead, the poet could show this despair through metaphor or other poetic devices.

Lastly, the poem could explore a wider range of emotions. While the focus on sadness and despair is clear and consistent, introducing moments of hope or other contrasting emotions could add depth and complexity to the piece.

In conclusion, while the poem effectively communicates a sense of despair and introspection, it could be enhanced with more vivid imagery, a balance of showing and telling, and a broader range of emotions.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact